{"id":831,"date":"2025-08-09T16:26:39","date_gmt":"2025-08-09T14:26:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/?p=831"},"modified":"2025-08-09T16:28:54","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T14:28:54","slug":"fog-bound","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/news\/fog-bound\/","title":{"rendered":"Fog bound"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"677\" src=\"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-1024x677.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-832\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-1024x677.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-300x198.png 300w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-768x508.png 768w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-1536x1016.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-1130x747.png 1130w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image-760x503.png 760w, https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/08\/image.png 1600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s a funny thing, this strange struggle through grey fog, and not being capable of bright and happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Firstly, I\u2019ve never seen myself as suffering from depression as such. Oh, I\u2019ve been depressed for sure, and I guess I\u2019ve been on meds at one point in my life. But life is hard and sometimes that happens to us, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>THen again, I don\u2019t suffer from dyslexia either, but I do have this weird hand-eye-brain coordination thing which litters my typing with spell-bombs and makes by unchecked text somewhat dangerous to read. So, it kind of looks to others like I have a level of dyslexia, even if I don\u2019t think I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I think that\u2019s what my go-to mental state is like, too. It\u2019s not depression, because I refuse to do that. I deny it. It\u2019s some other thing. A state of apathy and non-communication with friends, of listlessness and low battery-powered anger at my own pathetic inability to get things done. A frustration that I can\u2019t be the me that I want to be all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, I spent a good part of my life not being \u2018me\u2019 as such, not even knowing for a long, long time what \u2018me\u2019 really meant. Give it long enough and that kind of constant frustration wears into your brain. It becomes a pattern, a pair of rails that your personality train has to run on. It makes you want to hide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So all this rambling excuse is really just a plea to my friends not to give up on me. I may be in a rut, in an emotional hole with a lost light switch, but part of me is always climbing and never stopping. You know I never really stop, and I don&#8217;t know how to. &nbsp;I will get out, insofar as I ever can. And I\u2019ll be properly back with you all soon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I will.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>x<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It\u2019s a funny thing, this strange struggle through grey fog, and not being capable of bright and happy. Firstly, I\u2019ve never seen myself as suffering from depression as such. Oh, I\u2019ve been depressed for sure, and I guess I\u2019ve been&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-831","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news","wpcat-3-id"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/831","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=831"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/831\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":834,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/831\/revisions\/834"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=831"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=831"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.madden-brooker.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=831"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}